Loving others when wronged
“And Kissed Him” — A Heart Posture Before the Reunion
In his sermon And Kissed Him, Tim Keller draws our attention to a quiet but powerful detail in the parable of the Prodigal Son: the father kisses the son before the son can explain himself. The father’s heart has already moved toward mercy long before the son reaches the driveway.
Keller’s point presses deeper than behavior—it’s about posture. The father isn’t rehearsing a lecture or preparing to clobber his son with truth. He is, in a sense, kissing the son in his heart before the reunion ever happens. Compassion precedes confrontation. Grace outruns the speech.
I know firsthand that in close relationships with those we love most, this can be incredibly hard. It’s easy to start counting wrongs, holding grudges, letting bitterness settle in, and slowly labeling the person as the problem. I’ve had to face that in my own life. What has helped—and continues to work—is intentionally holding those thoughts captive: asking God to remove them and replace them with His love for that person, with the love I want for them, their growth, and my ability to forgive. I also ask God to help me be thankful for specific good things about who they are and what they do. Gratitude has a way of softening my heart and restoring clarity. When I do this, I’m better able to see the good in who they are and the good they still bring into my life.
That question lingers for all of us: what are we rehearsing in our hearts toward those we love? Are we stockpiling offenses—or practicing mercy in advance?
Reflection Questions
Before hard conversations, what are you rehearsing in your heart toward your spouse, child, or loved one?
Are you taking your thoughts captive—or letting resentment and assumptions run free?
In moments of offense, are you kissing them in your heart with grace, or preparing to clobber them with judgment?
Are you willing to ask God to remove bitter thoughts and replace them with His love for that person?
What specific good qualities or actions can you thank God for today, even if the relationship feels strained?
Sometimes the most faithful act happens before a word is spoken—when the heart chooses grace first.