The Struggle for Love – Why Only God Can Truly Satisfy
When I sit with couples and individuals here in Fort Worth, I often hear the same theme: “I just feel like something’s missing. My spouse isn’t meeting my needs. I thought this relationship would make me whole.”
Tim Keller, in his sermon The Struggle for Love, points out that we all carry this deep longing for love, intimacy, and fulfillment. But here’s the catch: if we expect another person—whether a spouse, friend, or even our kids—to complete us, we end up crushing them under a weight no one can carry.
Earthly relationships are gifts, but they were never meant to be the center of your identity. They can’t bear the load of your soul’s hunger. When we put all our hope there, the result is often disappointment, resentment, or emptiness.
C.S. Lewis said it bluntly: “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” In other words, your craving for a love that never leaves, a friend who never walks away, and a joy that can’t be taken from you—that craving is meant to point you to God.
Keller explains it this way: when Christ becomes your true friend and soul’s companion, you stop demanding that your spouse or friends give you what only God can. And that actually frees you to love them better—without smothering them with impossible expectations.
🎥 Watch the sermon here: The Struggle for Love – Tim Keller (YouTube)
Reflection Questions
About Desire and Fulfillment
Have you ever felt disappointed that a spouse, friend, or relationship didn’t live up to what you hoped it would? What did that disappointment reveal about where you were seeking fulfillment?
C.S. Lewis said, “If I find in myself desires which nothing in this world can satisfy, the only logical explanation is that I was made for another world.” Where do you feel that longing most strongly in your own life?
When you think about your deepest needs for love and companionship, do you try to meet them through people first—or through God?
About Christ as True Companion
Keller points out that Jesus is the only friend who will never fail you, never walk out, and never be taken from you. What does it look like, practically, to lean on Christ as your truest companion?
In what ways could making Christ your ultimate source of love actually free you to enjoy your spouse or friendships more—not less?
When you feel lonely, what habits or practices can help remind you that you are not abandoned but deeply known and loved by Christ?
Finding Wholeness Beyond Relationships
Many of us put huge pressure on our spouse, partner, or close friends to “make us feel whole.” How might recognizing Christ as your soul’s companion release some of that pressure?
If you thought of Jesus as your truest brother, sister, and loyal friend, how would it change the way you handle loneliness, stress, or unmet desires in marriage or friendship?
Where do you need to stop chasing affirmation from others and instead rest in the fact that God delights in you as His son or daughter?
If you’re in Fort Worth, Dallas, or the surrounding DFW area and find yourself struggling with unmet expectations in marriage, loneliness, or longing for deeper fulfillment, this is the kind of work we explore in Christian counseling. At Renew Christian Counseling, I help individuals, couples, and families move from disappointment toward a deeper experience of God’s love—and healthier, freer relationships.